Possessiveness is
not love
Jealousy is not
love
Lust is not love
Fear is not love
Keeping people all
to yourself is not love
Expecting something
from someone is not love
To love someone unconditionally means
that you love the person exactly as they are, exactly as they were before, and
exactly as they will be in the future – because people change all the time, so
if you love the person, you will love them even if they become something you
disagree with. How many parents can say that about their kids? How many people
can say that about their “lover”? Love is not about you or your pleasure or
your amusement. It’s not about what you get out of it or what the other person
can give to you. It’s not about having a trophy you can show off with and tell
people “This is *MY* girlfriend/ boyfriend/ wife/ husband/son/daughter/whatever”.
You do not “own” anyone. It’s not about you feeling ‘proud’ to be with someone
who always agrees with everything you say and do and never does anything you
disagree with. Unconditional love means that the person can just live their
life exactly as they choose and you will always be there for them no matter
what.
Unconditional
love is more of a spiritual thing. It’s not bound by physical things, like
blood relations and the desire to procreate. It has nothing whatsoever to do
with sex. Most people are in relationships because they’re horny and/or lonely,
even if they genuinely think they love the other person. But if the person they
“love” suddenly lost their “equipment” for whatever reason, would they still
want to be with that person? Would they get jealous if the person they “love”
wanted to spend time with other people as well? Relationships based on needs
are not unconditional.
In order to truly understand love, you must first forget everything
you have ever learned about it from society and anyone else (including what I
just said). You are the only person who can tell you what love is. The only
reason I’m writing all this stuff is because people always try to fit “love” in
with things like dating, relationships and marriage and all that. You can’t
make any sense of it if you keep doing that. You have to get rid of everything
you think you know first.
